There was a striking paragraph in a book that I’m reading for bible study…
Zoom Blur - by Chinmay Mishra
It’s all about weighing the evidence. We weigh the evidence of God’s character, promises, and track record against the present circumstances we face and our fears of what might happen. To hold our picture of redemption out to God and say, “Save me like this” doesn’t require nearly as much faith as saying, “I know you’re good, save me like you want to.” — Mike Wilkerson: Redemption
So many times I’ve tried to tell God how I want to be saved. So many times I’ve wanted clarity, my own clarity, and have not received the outcome I’ve wanted. But what does that say of my trust in God? How small do I make Him when I tell him to do things my way. There were countless times when money was short, bills needed to be paid, medicine needed to be bought for my kids. I sat there praying, “God I need to see X amount of dollars provided this precise way.” It didn’t work. I finally gave up. I finally prayed, “God, I know you love me and my family. I know you will provide for us. I have no earthy idea how, but we need the money. Do as you will.” Results were astounding. A random refund would arrive for something we had forgotten we had submitted. They paycheck would come a day or two early. A monthly expense that we had budgeted for would wind up being a lot less expensive that month when it went through. It was miraculous in such small, yet profound ways.
It was also terrifying at first. I so want those trees to be so clear and direct! My engineering mind wants to see every piece of the puzzle lined out. It wants to see every leaf on the forest floor so I can direct myself. But my sight is limited. I can’t see the forest from the trees, to use a really old cliche. But if I trust the creator of the path. If I trust the one who can see it all, then all I need to do is trust. Clarity may come, but it may not come until I’m right up to the path and I can see why I had to take a certain route to get there. Trust outweighs clarity because the one I trust can see so much more than I can.