As the sun was setting around 7:30 Sunday night, we were pulling into town after a short, yet satisfying trip down to the Phoenix area to see some family. Recalling the day and a half we were down there [wow, it felt longer than that], I made note of several things:
- My children have met their great grandparents on both sides of the family on more than one occasion.
- My wife has seen the worst sides of me and still loves me nonetheless.
- I have neighbors that we wouldn't hesitate (and often do) to invite up for dinner at the last moment.
- I am living where I ultimately have dreamed of living.
- I have been out of the country for a month twice and been able to soak up their culture.
- I am in the profession I ultimately dreamed of being in.
- My wife and I share an inside joke that we have used on each other a thousand times and it still doesn't get old. When we eventually explain it to our inquiring children, they still won't get it and think we're weird.
- I am still overwhelmed at the wonderous creation that is out there and how even little "farm towns" and "podunk villages" provide just as much fascinating things as big cities.
- I have the capacity to travel and introduce these awe inspiring things to my children to hopefully infuse the joy of discovery into their lives as well.
I realize now that this is enough. I have a very fulfilled and blessed life. Day by day the Lord is granting me new insights and new challenges in a process to ultimately instill virtue into my soul.
This by far does eliminate or wipe away the stuggles I face. Finances are strapped tighter than ever, medical issues still creep up at the wrong times. Garbage disposals break at the wrong times. I still need patience with my kids and myself. I am still a wretched sinner in need of grace, but I have and have experienced enough to grant me solace through trials that seem unexplainable and joys that are unfathomable...
Dear self...
Tomorrow morning will come and most likely you'll be tired and potentially grumpy. Monday will rear its ugly head. The pressures of work, of thought, of relationships, of money, of love will all come in and beat you into a pulp. They tend to do that. You'll wrestle with pride and greed and glory and want to take over the world just so it thinks you are some almighty programmer of awesomeness, and then you'll get frustrated when you realize you aren't and most likely will never be.
Please make a mental bookmark of that drive home. Fuse it into your mind, body, and soul and bookmark this blog post for that technical side of you as well so you can quickly read it if necessary. It is important to realize that despite (and maybe because) of all your trials, you have enough. It was not earned, it was given. It is enough for you.